Love & Relationship

Hi all!!

I’ve changed my blog’s theme. Big or not?? Easy to read, right?? ;)

Anyway, this time I’m reposting this write-up I found on a FB page. It’s about relationship. Since I’m only married for 2 years plus, nothing much I can write on my own. Even if I wrote it, you wouldn’t believe me.. I know!! Haha..

This article is from an FB page Beautiful [Me]

Beautifully written to remind us about appreciating our partner. Love is more than a feeling, it’s a decision. I have many youngsters writing to me about wanting to get married and build a family after reading my blog!! (Homaigawd!!! What have I done??!!) Sustaining a relationship / marriage is a lot of hard work. Trust me!! Trying to change your partner is definitely not an option. Looking for a perfect person will take you forever. But learning to accept the other person as-he-is saves you from a lot of heart ache.

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here’s the answer…

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because:

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

Much love.. XOXO

56 thoughts on “Love & Relationship

  1. I’m 3 years into my marriage doc. Alhamdulillah, I am blessed with a good husband. But I have to work out on my ‘asyik nak marah part’ when things do not go my way and I keep reminding myself about all his positive traits everytime I want to throw a tantrum. I don’t know where come this angry feeling inside of me. I do love him, but past experience makes me hold some part to myself.

    • I’m also the same lah Doc…i do love my hubby. he is very cool n caring n very loving husband..but sometimes i ‘termarah’ tak tentu pasal…..feel guilty when I saw his face kenak marah… really love him….byk rintangan yg kami tempuhi b4 jadi suami isteri yg drestui oleh smua.. really appreciate it…. Now I ‘study’ about myself….try to control my ‘temperature’..! I try my bez to minimize my temper lah…

  2. it’s a good entry for me…. :-) thanks kak na…. tapi nk comment sikit pasal theme ni…. tulisan die ok… size die sdp mata memandang… hehe cume background picture die t’lalu kosong le…. do something on it… hehe it’s just a comment! anyway,it’s up to you!

  3. omg! part “nk kwen lps bcee ur blogs” tu kne kat batng idong sdiri lahh…hehe
    But part cycle in relationship was very interesting, i’m in relationship almost in 2 years n i think i’m at the bottom in our relationship cycle(the euphoria of love become fade) , but it’s okay, i will climb to the top! yeahhh~
    “I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.” NO! It’s wasting my time.
    Anyway, thanks 4 read my comment, N this post really means a lot to me.

  4. ur blog make me feel to be a mother asap!!!
    but i still waiting for d right man walks into my life….
    sometimes feel like a looser… haha

    pls dr. pray 4 me… pray 4 my jodoh!!!

  5. Dr… this coming may is my 10th anniversary… and this post really helps me to keep the ‘fire and spirit’ going… know what i mean? Anyway… 10 years huh? My opinion, bare this in mind, dun quit to ‘get 2 know’ n ‘study’ him… coz for me, everyday is a learning process. And once u quit or ‘just let it be’ or not trying to make the relationship to the next excitement level, that is where the bored feelings come. I wish u the best of luck in ur marriage, may Allah guide us and family to HIS Jannah…. insyaAllah…

  6. very informative entry Datin Dr Halina..thanks a bunch! after all we didnt realise this.. :( hopefully its not too late to change things…

  7. This year is my 25th year’s marriage . Marriage is accepting ,complementing and needing each others….Terima buruk baik pasangan dan yang paling penting mesti ‘ expressed your feelings’ tanpa membuat pasangan kita terasa hati…Kasih sayang dan kejujuran serta ceria dalam berumahtangga akan menghasilkan anak-anak yang cemerlang ,gemilang dan terbilang…insyaallah

  8. If he’s still around in this world, I’ll do the same Doc… Love and Relationship is like a seed, need to be fertilized from now and then.. Tq for the sharing.

  9. Assalammualaikum, your posted today just like pouring a water to my burning heart toward my partner this morning. Will decide better way to talk to him about it.

  10. Morning Doc,
    thank you for sharing, if have time please share about your experience when you still anak dara, how do you spend your time, and how do you reach your dream.
    you are one of my inspiration.

  11. my humble comment on new look: its big but background too white and similar with reading column. kalau ada col skit senang nak cari n concentrate column yg nak dibaca. It is so true about love and relationship. my keyword of love after 13years of marriage is trust, it will lead you to happiness. Hugs and kisses for Bella and Tasha.

  12. waaa…. such a wonderful sharing here…. its totaly open my eyes about relationship…. love this sentence (The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found). mula2 bc few lines je… rasa cam bored… tapi bile bc the whole story… mmg betul2 menjawab persoalan yg saya cari selama bercouple ni… terima kasih byk2 lah Dr. Harlina yg sudi share… mmg berbaloi…. :D

  13. looking for a right person….or accepting the person who already accept us..huhu..
    terkesima sekejap..memandang dari sudut yg berbeza..*dilema kawin lambat*
    nice entry doc..

  14. Love is just like F=mg.
    It’s like the center of gravity of our life now no longer 6.67 x 10-11 Nm2/kg2. It’s all pulled together towards him/her. hew hew ;)

  15. Macam serious sikit theme ni, tp very clear la..he2
    Im 22 this sept, kahwin dah nak dekat 3tahun, biasa la macam2 ujian, tapi alhamdulillah zauji sangat baik dan sabar. Banyak belajar dari dia.

  16. Hi Doc…bertuah rasa nyer bila I ‘terjumpa’ ur blog….mana thing ia belajar from your blog, Byk2 blog i found…blog doc lah plg senang to follow n read…keep it on Doc.. Wish you n all woman out there have blessed marriage……….

  17. dr halina i think i like ur previous theme..the one with pink..don’t u link pink?? hehe..the previous one looks like the family-sweet-happy type…the current one seems more serious…ngeh ngeh

  18. It’s funny that it takes someone else saying it or writing it down for you to really get something you may have known all along… I wish that I had stumbled across this post 3 years ago before my Ex and I broke up. I often sit and wonder whether I did the right thing in ending that relationship. But what do you do when you start to realize that it was the wrong thing for you, but the right thing for them? I don’t necessarily believe in “the one” but I do sometimes worry that I might never find a connection like that with anyone else…

  19. Pingback: am i with the right person? | http://www.gadistimur.com

  20. hi dr…really lurve ur blog..knew about ur blog since last few weeks from my good fren..n the r awesome..my marriage is three years old…haha….bless with 2 sons…but lately i felt quite bored with my relationship..huhu..maybe because too busy manage my 2 heros…haha..sometimes i felt so guilty to my hubby ..(xsempat nk manje2 mcm mule kawen dulu…ngeeeee)….

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