This time, my rambling is not about Bella.. it is about Bella’s mom, but it is a little bit personal.. (Yes, much more personal than breast feeding or cracked nipple!)
For the past one month, I have this feeling like I want to learn to wear tudung.. Yes, you read it right. No, my husband never pressured me. Of course he always advice me to do good.. but he never give me ultimatum but I know he always doa one day insyaAllah, mighty Allah will open my heart..
Initially, I have this doubt that I might change my mind. I am worried because I don’t want to do it for the wrong reason. To be true to all of you, I get a lot of emails, some are good advices (thank you) and some are just condemning me for not covering my hair.. (err, thanks to you too.. but it hurts you know..) Yes, I get a lot of that.. that is the price I have to pay, I guess.. but my husband always tell me that whatever these people are writing to me, they mean good. I don’t want to do this just to satisfy others. I want to do it when I am ready.
So now, here I am, telling all of you.. my blog readers, twitter followers and also FB friends, alhamdullilah, I am gonna make baby steps towards a better muslimah, insyaAllah. I have decided to start with selendang first and move forward as time goes by..
But I have to ask you for one thing, please be kind to me. I know I am gonna get emails or even message on my FB wall asking why selendang? that’s not enough, kenapa pakai selendang macam nak jatuh, baik tak payah pakai.. (it’s quite windy nowadays you know..) why are you not covering your feet (uurmm…) why are you talking so loud (pun kena jugak..) and so on.. I know that will happen. I will get scrutinized.. so, before you tell me that, I just wanna say again and again, please be kind to me. It may look simple to you but it is a big adjustment for me (yes, and that includes a lot of shopping!! hahahah…)
Yes, I was driving but no worries, it was at a traffic light.. Hehehe.. Hence the senyum senget face.. Owh, and I like to introduce to you my tudung guru..
That is a good friend of mine, Dr Zahilah Filzah, a paediatrician. Very fashionable and up-to-date about scarves. She has been wearing tudung since she was a teenagers and very kind enough to teach me stuffs.. (there are too many types nowadays you know.. she even made a class to teach me how to wear scarves!! hahahha..) and we have agreed that Hana Tajima style is too hype for us (we are 30 something.. duhhh!)
Anyway, this rambling comes sincere from my heart. The reason I am sharing this with all of you is NOT because I wanna show off (trust me I will be accused for that!!) It is because I want to share my struggle and dilemma. I’m sure some of us who doesn’t wear scarves wants to start somewhere along the line but they are afraid of being scrutinize and criticize and screwed! Religion is a very sensitive issue. But despite whatever people gonna say, I will do whatever I feel comfortable with in my own pace. I am not gonna start drastically change my life. I believe covering hair is more that that… solat mesti jaga, akhlak, jiwa yang sendiri nak kembali pada Allah. Alhamdullillah, dengan izin Allah SWT I have decided here is my starting point… and still learning. I pray for more good things to come from Allah SWT, insyaAllah..