Bonding

“The moment a child is born, a mother is also born”

Yes, it’s true, we women find the bond with our baby immediately. The moment baby was born, when she first held the baby, the bond is created. When a woman breastfeed her baby, a hormone called “oxytocin” released. It triggers more milk production. It also nicknamed as “love hormone” because it’s also produced during affectionate moment. It makes us feel good. Even just by gazing at your baby’s eyes while bottle feeding him/her, massaging your baby and snuggling also releases oxytocin.

That’s how easy for us mommies to bond with our child.

But it’s a different story with the daddies..

I remember when Tasha was only 1 week old, my husband said “I belum bond lagi lar dengan Tasha.” I tried very hard not to ask him every day whether he has bonded with our little girl or not!! Hahaha.. Kepoci 🙂

And finally, last week, when Tasha is about 6 weeks old, he told me “I rasa I dah bonding dgn Tasha dah!!” Yesss!!!! It took awhile for daddies to bond with their baby. I guess because most of the job dealing with infants are done by us, mommies.. From giving birth (isn’t it obvious!!) to breast feeding (duhh!), changing diapers.. Urrm.. yes, that’s all babies need I guess 🙂

What I did was I let my husband bottle feed Tasha especially at night, so I’ll get to sleep a little bit more 😉 Don’t worry mommies, daddy and baby will do fine without you. I have some my friends who is scared to let their husband takes care of their baby. Just because they afraid something might happen. As far as I’m concern, the fact that daddy wants to help is enough to show that they care for their child. Let them spend time together, bottle-feed and some snuggling tome with the baby while we… rest!

And the result.. the bonding between them!!

And don’t forget your other children too!!

That’s Bella bonding with Tasha when she was just a few days old..

Love, X

105 thoughts on “Bonding”

      1. i hope another kanak-kanak question dont bother you, xD but what does kepoci mean? i googled it but couldnt find any reliable source~ does it mean *org byk ckp? tp x suit dgn what you said kat ats *based on my fruitless research

  15. doc, w/pun i let my hubby bottle feed ank… mata kiter ni yg xleh nk tdo..hmmm..i guess all mummy pun rasa cam tu kan…hehehehe. sekrg ank2 dh besar dh sekolah pun..tp tgk doc berbaby ni rasa teringin la plak nk berbaby lg…

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  16. dr helina nak tnya skit..dr belum cukur rambut tasya erk?? bella dulu ada wat cukur rambut x?? suka tgk 2 beradik nie..

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  20. Salam…alhamdulillah tgk doc harlina byk dpt simpan susu ibu..sy bb twin dlm pantang dah bg susu formula..mmg xcukup..ada apa2 petua x?skrg bb dah ada masalah sembelit..huhuhu…

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  21. May I ask 1 question… Tasha tido dgn mommy skali or she sleeps in her crib? This is true story.. One women citer ngn I. Anaknya meninggal dunia because of drowning… Lemas dlm tgn daddy dia… Tertutup muka waktu tido… Agaknya, thats why, mommies takut nak kasi daddies jaga anak…

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      1. I see.. How about Bella? Does she sleeps alone? Camne nak ajar toddler utk tido sendiri ye?

  24. hi Dr..
    I think I am the lucky one coz during early days of confinement,c -sect, daddy took care of my baby…hahaha
    he only come when it is feeding time…he bonded with daddy 1st (that the sad part huhuhu)

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  31. doc..another way of father n son/daughter bonding ni…i will let my husband basuh poopoo..shower, tukar diapers and smua la…dl time bfeed tugas saya bfeed je…sbb hubby mmg keje luar 2 or 3 bln skali br dpt jmp..but alhamdulillah..kadng2 video call smua..my son mmg rapat…drg leh berjalan keluar without me..my husband leh tidokan dia…

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      1. like my son..sayang2 tp kdg2 geram..all adik stuff dia ckp dia punya..haruu..smp bfeed pn problem..when adik isap kanan..abang isap kiri..*imagine laa**..camne i nk anak ramai??hahaha me also mcm doc..nk anak ramai hahahaha…selagi boleh

  35. My first baby bond dgn papa dia dulu then about a month, baru mama bond with him..sedih sangat2 sebab masa tu i suffer batu dalam hempedu n hydronephrosis. x spend much time with him. dok dalam ward je. baby pun kat NICU about 2 weeks. Doc, try Karihome milk for Bella. Goat’s milk formula. No 2 after mommy’s milk.

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    1. the first 4 weeks, still breastfeed lagi, we introduce bottle only after 4th week to avoid nipple confusion..

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  51. so true about bonding…cutenya dimple Bella..sayangnya kat adik dia…off topic ni, nak tanya doc ttg suppository paracetamol. What is the advantage and disadvantage of using it, I mean long term effect. How often r we allowed to do in a day. Its for my 3yrs old dghtr. thanks in advance.

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    1. supp is good especially kalu baby tak sihat and muntah2. absorption of the PCM will still be there. long term, shouldnt be an issue. follow the dose given by your doctor. insyaAllah takde masalah. its also a 3-4 times a day dosage. i have never given Bella syrup PCM, it has always been supp PCM but only in really really high temperature (>38.5’c) kalu less than 38.5’C, i will just do sponging sampai temperature turn.

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      2. I just dont want the hassle of bergaduh2 dgn Bella jer. Nanti kena paksa dia.. dia nanges, I dont want her to be traumatized makan ubat. Nanti kale dia tak suka and muntahkan balik ubat tu, so dia tak dpt the effect of the medicine. I wouldn’t know how much to top up back.. If i give suppository, sure all will be absorb provided she doesnt poo poo after that.. FYI, Bella has never been on any syrup medications. Dia mmg tak pernah man ubat selesema / batik / antibiotic. Kalu dia demam, saya cuma bg supp PCM kalu betul2 panas and I give her a lot of my milk. Mother’s milk has antibody to help her recover. Even until now, even when she’s on formula milk, everytime she’s not well, I give her my milk..

  54. doc…nak tanya skit. camne nk create bonding between 2 beradik yg jarak umur dekat2 mcm bella n tasha ni? bella nmpk syg sgt kt tasha. anak i dh setahun lbih and will be a big bro lg 3 bln. pening sgt pkr ble anak ni terlalu manja dgn mommy rather than daddy dia bcoz takut nnti ble dh ada adik akan ada perasaan jealous….thanks doc!!

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    1. Teach the elder one to sayang / kiss the adik selalu. that’s what we did to Bella. But I’m not sure whether that works for boys or not 😉 Good luck!

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  55. Alhamdulillah, so sweet bella…my kids so manja with the daddy…coz dad can do hocus pocus and abragadabra..coihhh susu datang hehe…

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  57. Salam Dr Halina,

    I come accross your blog masa on maternity last month and i enjoyed reading every entry yang Dr Halina tulis. Thanks for making my maternity day terisi….Bella video on pronouncing ‘keropok’ is my favourite…hehehe 🙂 Just nak tanya pendapat…I am a mother of 2 months baby boy…dia bf + fm…I perasan recently di lidah dia ada bekas susu/kerak susu…Mintak advice kawan-kawan on macam mana nak buang, some say bagi air suam, some suruh guna napkin lembap and ada yang cadangkan guna gel yang beli di pharmacy.
    Nak tanya Dr Halina, kerak susu yang menyebabkan lidah baby putih tu membahayakan ke? Mohon pendapat Dr Halina as I am a first time mother and I always risau sebab tak tau nak buat macam mana.

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    1. mcm sy kan..sy lap ngn napkin lembab..tapi mmg susah la kan..
      then kalo dah tebal sgt..yess..guna yg gel tu..tp sy bkn beli kat farmasi..sy jmp doc..then doc bg gel tu..gel tu mmg senang je dh baik..
      awk jgn biarkan putih tu smp merebak tau..sbb dl ank sy..sy biarkan (sebab susah sgt nak lap ngn kain lembab )..jadi nyee putih2 smp merebak kena kat bibir bahagian dlm..kesian je..tu yg bw g hospital doc bg gel tu..leh apply kat bibir n lidah..
      good luck!

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      1. Salam mama fasya….apa ye nama gel tu? sebab minggu depan nak bawak dia gi PPUM so nak mintak terus ngan doctor la…thanks for sharing

      2. sy x sure..pe nm nye..sbb dh lama beno..now ank dh 3yo..ms kena dulu sebaya ngn baby awk la..so x ingt dh..hehhhe
        ala..xpe..pandai la doc tu bg nnt..gel tu..x la likat sgt..cair je..warna putih..rs payau..
        sy x boleh nk reply bwh comment awk…haihhhh

      3. mama fasya…ow so masa bagi kat baby tu just sapu kat lidah ke or camopur dalam susu dia

      4. EEHHEH..bl dah post..kuar bwh comment awk..hahhah..org x biasa blog bagai ni..mcm ni lah..hahhaha

      6. ishhh..bukan campur dlm susu la dear..letak kat lidah je..kat yg de putih..nnti putih tu tanggal la..
        dulu ank sy..bibir dia penuh putih2 susu..mcm ulser..tp tak sakit..tp doc kata kalo biarkan leh jd ulser..
        tp guna ubat tu trs tanggal..kejap je..n bagi air masak byk2..

      7. means kene korek mulut dia lah utk sapu gel tu kat lidah..ari tu try dah guna napkin tp x berjaya nak suruh dia buka mulut 😦

    2. aah kena paksa la wat mcm tu..kalo x merebak lg susah..
      tapi kalo awk biasakan lap lidah dia ngn kain..lm2 dia bk mulot..bdk2 kn d lentur..
      sy dl…mcm awk gak..ikutkan je peel ank..syg sgt kan..hhehhe…kalo ank x buka mulut..biarkan je..alih2..tgk dlm mulut dh teruk..penuh putih…smp nangis2 sy..trs g emergency kat hukm..ingtkan ulser..doc gelak je..bg ubat tu..trs elok..x smp 2hari…=)))

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      3. ala…saya pun mula2 ingat nak putus asa bf, tapi sebab rasa bersalah ngan baby…saya gagahkan jugak bagi dia main2 ngan puting saya sampai la dia pandai latch. Tapi baby saya ni ada satu pe’el….dia kalo isap susu sangat gelojoh dan marah2…kadang2 susu tu tgh banyak keluar, dia lepaskan so susu akan memancut ke muak dia etc 😦 haiii rugi2

      1. campur la mama fasha….siang dia minum stock susu badan dulu then baru la formula…malam dia direct bf

      2. hahha ye ke..sy dulu..kena gastric teruk sgt2 lps pantang..kuar msk ward..tu yg terputus bf..sian gak kat anak..huhu..then sy kurang pendedahan bf ni..kakak2 sy smua bf sekejap tuk ank2 d org..so xde yg supportive bab bf ni..tapi now bl tgk ramai yg fully bf…siap pump n simpan bagai..rs nak cpt2 preg lg skali..nk wat mcm tu gak…

      3. takpe lah mama fasya…yang penting anak kita sihat dan kenyang kan…jangan dibiarkan lapar anak-anak kita

    1. continue breastfeeding and dont eat any jamu or traditional supplement. that will worsen the jaundice..

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  60. ok, off topic. doc bila nak keluar romantika? every tuesday, i’ll be standby in front of tv with a big hope that u n ur hb will appear. but, hampa 😦 nanti doc alert kan lah kami specially ur fans.

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    1. hahahha… kitorg belum shooting lagi utk our episode!! this weekend baru nak shoot. We’ll be in Bali!! Yay!! 😉

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  61. doc..sorry out of topic..lame dah nak tny..baru hari ni teringat..hehe..since u hav 2 babies ni ade tak mengalami rambut gugur, sakit gigi/gusi or something else sakit2 lepas bersalin??ape supplement yg doc amalkan utk elakkan semua ni yer??setakat ni sy ade amalkan pil calcium tapi kdg2 gigi mcm terase sakit jgk…need some advise…thank doc…;)

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    1. rambut mmg gugur sbb hormones. it will recover back insyaAllah. tp tak lar pulak sakit gigi. dah gie dentist dah?

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      1. dentist??blum..insyaallah next week free bru g jmpe…mase pregnant doc ade bgtau makan ubat calcium skrg2nya 2 tahun slps bersalin untuk elak gigi reput katenyer..huhu seram plak dgr..pernah ade kes mase sy g check up kat klinik ade kakak ni umur dlm 30-an tapi da pakai gigi palsu semua…anak 4 org…mgkin sy kurang calcium kot ade rase sakit gigi…setakat ni ade tak doc amalkan supplement atau vitamin slpas bersalin…

  64. salam..doc.. anak saya sebaya bella…tapi kan doc..dia susah sgt nak poo2..dah bg segala sayur n mnm air msk..tukar susu pn bnyk kali..mcm mn nak buat ye???? kalo msk ubat ikut montot tu ok ke? boleh salu ke?
    dia skng nak poo2 pn mcm tkt2 je..sedih =((((

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  66. COMEYNYER Bella ngan Tasha…bukan main si Bella peluk si Tasha masa tidur… Bella ikut rupa Dr, Tasha pulak iras daddy dia……

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