Drama, Tears and Two Broken Hearts

Many of my friends said, to wean off a toddler from breast feeding involves a lot of drama and tears and definitely two broken hearts!!

I have officially weaned off Bella from her so called “casual breast feeding”..

that means she only take breast milk when she feels like it.

I tried tandem breast feeding for two weeks after Tasha was born, but I end up looking almost like hantu Kak Limah due to lack of sleep and I have become a very impatient mother.. as example, I just want Tasha to finish drinking milk very fast because I have Bella crying wanting her milk too!! Which is not good for me and both my daughters. I don’t want Bella to have hate feelings towards Tasha. Well, I don’t know whether a toddler capable of having hate feelings or not.. but as far as I’m concern, that’s not good!!

So, I have decided, Bella has to stop. Alhamdullillah I managed to breastfeed her for one and a half year..

I know there’s a lot of petua and funny things that mommies did to stop their children from breastfeeding.. especially those toddlers yg penyusu tegar!! Some put ginger, some put asam jawa.. Hahaha.. I’m glad my situation with Bella wasn’t that bad!

What me and my husband did for Bella, we keep telling her, she’s a big girl.. repetitively!! We tried to emphasize to her that she’s now a grown up baby and she  doesn’t do baby stuff anymore.

So, when it comes to breastfeeding, I told her that she’s a big girl.. and a big girl drinks from bottle or cup. I did that many many times.. When she’s in a good mood, she’ll say “OK”, smile and walk away.. when she’s in a bad mood.. only God knows! 😉

But I remembered my friends told me to be persistent. No turning back. No kesian-kesian because these toddlers are clever, if they knew they can manipulate you, like when they throw a tantrum and you give in. They will continue doing so.

So, persistent is the word!!

My heart breaks when I see her crying wanting mommy’s milk.. to be honest, I almost give in. But my husband said “Don’t!! We’ll soon be in trouble if we keep giving in..” Haih… *heart continues breaking..*

Alhamdullilah after about a week of mini drama at home, now Bella doesn’t ask for milk anymore.

She knows she’s a big girl and big girl drink from bottle or cup! And she doesn’t disturb Tasha menyusu anymore..

Fuhh!! Lega…

Bella, big girl already!!!

72 thoughts on “Drama, Tears and Two Broken Hearts”

  6. my mom pernah letak sirap to avoid my sis bf. kunun kunun macam darah. have to do that sbb my sis menyusu sampai umur 3-4 years old

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  14. Saya sedih..
    Saya faham perasaan Dr bile baby menangis Nak jugak over something..memang heart breaking..
    Sorry Dr,tmbh drama plak..
    Hope sy pon setabah Dr bile smpai masenye nanti..
    -Bella sayang,Bella minum gune botol or cawan ye..bagi susu kat Adik plak..Bella pandai.da besar..-
    :,(

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  16. hehe..nice to read your experience Dr..like you, I m also managed to breastfeed my 1st son for one and a half year..cause at that time i am in early pregnancy..Dr asked me to do that..huhu…so sad rite..but what to do..only Allah knows..anyway Bella is so cute..like her mom…

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  18. My doter still bf and she is 28mths old!tried so many things but mission always fail!Mommy so tension & so stress ..trying to explain but it could only last for a while..such a drama queen

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  20. cutey Bella..big girl already..I didnt experience this feeling before because I only hv 1 child for now who stopped her breastfeed on 3 months++..on her own..maybe because of merajuk since mummy taught her to use bottle..it was a bad and hard decision to make..but,I think it was for her own good..because mummy need to work after 3 months maternity leave..and my work is not allowing me to go home for certain period of time to breastfeed her..hmmm…:(..congrats dr..u r managed to do it!!

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  21. of course mommy pun feel bad juga kan Dr….perasaan sayu dan rasa kehilangan sbb lama dia exclusive bf and suddenly dia tak menyusu lagi dengan kita..oohh, I face the same thing though he alone tapi bila beralih arah kepada bottle, dia jarang bf, saya pula yg heart broken 😉

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  23. My daugther bf for 2.5 years..I thought its so hard to tell her to stop bf when her adik is in that time….but I tried to told her many n many times that’s her adik is in..n she’s cannot bf when her adik is out soon..she’s only give me a smile..but its not so hard for me..but my mother in laws,told to do this la..do this la..(Petua org2 tua)put sirap lah,put akar seruntun lah..)But I don’t do that..she don’t want to bf naturally when her adik is out..hehe..so thakful to Allah to make my daughters feel like a sister..hehe$$

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  28. Big girl not cry for asking mommy give her breastfeeding.. hehee
    Bella now not little B but Princess B.
    i love see how you and your husband and daughter in picture, always smiling and your smiling nampak ikhlas.. memang berseri2 wajah.

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  29. i’m in the process of weaning my daughter who is almost 2 and a half years old now due to pregnancy….the verdict: damn difficult to wean and yes, heartbreaking indeed! when she cried for bf, i cried too….hehehe, but now slowly, she’s beginning to understand that baby needs the nutritions from mama more, so cannot share already (that’s what i keep on telling her), kakak is a big girl and a big girl listens to mama….and being a drama queen herself, she would sometimes wail jgk, hehe…now, when she knows that she can’t bf, she would come near the ‘area’ and just ‘gesel2’ (excuse my term) maybe just for comfort, kesian kan….

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  32. I think you are doing the right thing. I am a house husband or as my wife called me house commander and chief and we are going through it now with our lovely daughter Olivia. She is almost an year and because my wife went back to work on a part-time basis and I am working from home, we felt that we should start the transition from breast to cow’s milk. She does get mum’s milk now and then but she is being adapting quite well so far. Any way great work from a dad that understand what a wonderful job you all mum’s do. Bye

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  33. u r right about persistent….kids r genius…we the parents must be persistent in any situation. well you can put you breast milk into her cup to complete the full 2 years breastfeeding.

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  34. Im currently going through this process… Really 2 hearts are broken….. It’s harder to stop rather than to start…

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  36. tried asam jawa and kunyit but so messy n amelly.so i sapu crushed pcm onto the bs.but my clever boy took the wet wipes and wiped them clean!!haha.

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  41. Same goes to me… Dh 4y pun still bgantung siang malam penat tau… Sakit badan etc.. anw sblm tu i dh put asam jawa. Dia kata x sedap. Dia suh kita basuh pastu continue minum susu… Haih.. what i did… I put lipstik to show that ada luka kt situ bdarah… So dia x mintak la… But shes more clever… Dia suh kita pegi jumpa doc mintak ubat so lepas tu bole minum susu balik kalo luka tu dh elok.. Hahaha so funny.. Tp lama2 nanti dia lupa sbb x baik2 luka mama dia tuh.. 😂

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  42. proses wean off dgn anak ptama makan masa 3hari je..masa tu dia dah 2y2m n i tgh preggy 2mons.wat i did? letak lemon juice! mmg kesian bila tgk dia nangis guling2 but itulah, kena tahan hati..tp lps tu mmg rasa lega sangat.

    now? i tgh bf my 2m+++ twins baby boy…

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  45. yeah…I agree with you…if we turn up to be like Hantu Kak Limah and we think we can’t take it to do the Tandem Nursing… it’s better to find another alternative though… However, I also agree that…it’s not easy and as a mother, surely we will feel sad seeing our kids crying out for milk from us… (haven’t experienced it yet…still trying to be a mommy myself but I do understand)

    nice sharing Dr. ^_^ yeay Bella is a big girl ady!

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  51. trying to do that with my almost 3yr son.. next month dah 3thn.. everytime cakap die dah besar & dah jadi abg (actually dah pernah stop for 2mnth utk adik but adik meninggal after a day.. mase pantang susu mummy banyak so die la yg tolong abiskan) tapi smpai sekarang xle nak stop dah “adik kecik lagi la.. nih baby”.. huhuhu any idea.. :p

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  55. kesian bella 😦 definitely kena persistent lah kan, coz the 2nd baby is too small. kalau kongsi nanti tak cukup susu pulak. Kakak kenalah berkorban demi adik2.. Akak bella jangan jeles taw tgk adik menyusu.. hehhehe… Hoping Bella to be strong enough. 🙂

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  56. in my case, my husband is too soft with children, he will give anything his children want..me the other type of person, mak-mak yg garang..hehe…sometime when i say no to my kids, husband say yes. so anak dah tau kalau apa-apa mintak kat abah jela mesti dapat. my daughter is same age as bella. she starting to develop “sifat-sifat menentang n melawan” . i usually ignore her when she starts to buat perangai, end up, she turn to his dad and daddy will give in..adoiii.

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  59. bella hebat…anak saya yg sulung menyusu badan sampai umur 3 tahun 2bulan…bila adiknya lahir, dia still lagi menyusu badan….masa nie takut sangat susu tak cukup untuk adik….slow saya cuba stopkan dia dari susu badan dalam masa seminggu…memang sedih sangat la tapi hati kena kuat…paling sedih tengok, selalu sebelum tido mesti dia susu dulu tapi selepas kena paksa stop mesti ada adengan air mata sebelum tido……

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  61. Assalam,
    Saya jg mempunyai ank yg rapat antara no 2 ke 3. umur no 2 setahun 2 bln dapat adik. Saya bg susu badan sehingga adiknya lahir dan saya dalam pantang..selepas itu baru susu formula sepenuhnya. masa mengandung 7 bulan saya dah x bg secara direct sebliknya pam dan bg susu dgn botol. alhamdulillah setelah kembali bekerja, sy harya perlu pam utk baby dan abgnya minum botol dgn susu formula..tiada drama…

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  62. first time masuk sini..tengok gadis kecil yg cantik tu..
    saya cuma dpt susukan anak saya selam 3 tahun setengah..sbb dah ada adik baru..

    (thanks Dr..sudi masuk blog sy..:)

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  63. Anak dara saya nyusu sampai 3 tahun setengah jugak, yes cuma psikologi jugak.. tiap2 bagitau dia dh besar… n akhirnya paham.. tapi pernah sekali dia demam.. panas.. emm kesian bagi jugak.. sekarang dh 7 tahun, masih minat ngan susu mama.. masih curi2 nk pegang2 ..hehehe.. but noticed baby yg brestfeed nie.. rapat.. n dekat sgt ngan mama.. kamceng gituh… 🙂

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  64. yeay!! bella is a big girl now! nway tqsm for all your stories dr! like really you did inspire me alot. btw I just wanna ask is it fine to breastfeed our child during pregnancy? as I did heard some said that…”mana boleh breastfeed bile pregnant..nanti anak baby sick or more worst cacat”… ouh my! but I could see now lil tasha is a healthy and beautiful baby. hope dr. can share some info.. tqsm dr! 🙂

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  65. i wish i can do the same thing to my daughter…Huhuhu…she is almost 2years and her sister is 7mth and she still ask for “nenen”…her father pulak galakkan…hopefully this april(her birth month) she will slowly stop asking it…sometimes i have to feed them (both) at the same time.kalau tak menangis….

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  67. I like your story Dr.Halina..Like me..every nite seturn hour my son ask for milk…Nasib baik breasfeeding…itupon rase dah letih sgt coz asyik kene bgun..Huhuhu..nyway i i’m willing for that becoz i’m very love my son..Too much love!!!^_^

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  68. Perkongsian yg sgt menarik. my son Afiq 3 yr 1 mth..sya sdg berusaha utk stop bf, wpun dia hanya menyusu waktu mlm esp time nk tido. Afiq belum ada adik lg, mybe tu yg lg buat die susah nk stop. My cousin letak serbuk kopi..n said ada semut dekat situ hehehe. N dia berjaya! Sya pulak jenis x sampai hati. But me n hubby keep telling afiq that he is now a big boy..hrp2, afiq akn fhm

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  69. Salam Doc…we have the same situation..my 2nd and 3rd child is exactly one year apart..my 2nd daughter still bf during my pregnancy and after my son birth..since my son is premie like tasha (he was born 35w) and stop breathing on d 3rd day of birth so the paeds stop him from milk for fear of choking and i pumped my milk but no pump can compare to baby and my breasts become so sore i have to force my daughter to bf until she refuses 😀 and i do tandem bf with both of them at once and luckily my daughter sleep through the nite and didn’t wake up with her brother!! i gave her formula but she will still wants to bf until she stop herself..so i managed to tandem bf for 1 year and still fully f my son until today and its been 21months yay!!

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  70. Salam datin.i am so impressed that u finally weaned off ur eldest girl.im still hvg problem weaning off my lil girl even tho she will be 5 this sept 11.maybe she is the youngest of 2 so it is hard for me to wean her off.if she wants her “tutu” i will tell her in a nice way that she cannot “tutu” coz i hv no more milk.and u will hv tummy ache later.if she is ok then she will smile n hug me only.but the problem comes in when she says that is not ok and she starts pulling tantrum. In the end i give in…do u hv any suggestion on what i should do as i will always give in whenever she pulls tantrum…btw im 33…

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